Heard

Shew. Sometimes I just cannot shut it.

Do you ever find yourself talking your way down a rabbit hole and you are like, wow, what got me here? None of this was helpful to anyone. Or, I do this all too often, I want to say something that I know in my Spirit isn’t helpful but I want to be heard. I just want to say it out loud and get it off my chest but not just to an empty room, to someone who will care about what I have to say! Soo… why do I never think to say it to the One who created me and the universe I live in? The One who knows me better than anyone, who loves me more than anyone, the One who gives me life and breath?

When we unload our burdens (otherwise can be known as- stress from work, being annoyed with people you know you’re supposed to love, a break up, a fight, just a downright bad day) onto God, He does not get offended. He does not get distressed. He does not get disheartened, weighed down, anxious or depressed. He’s GOD. And He can shoulder it all.

Now, the church can help with all that too, I am all for that communication, community, all good and needed things. However, do we just unload on people everything there is in our junk drawer before ever bringing any of it to God??

Maybe we are so desperate to be heard because we aren’t telling God any of it. NOT THAT COMMUNICATION IS BAD. It is like the life blood of any thriving relationship. But you can say hurtful things that were never thought through or processed because, well, we never think through or process them with anyone… or specifically a certain someone… who is God.

Or, we can just have an overabundance of burdens that aren’t as vital as they seem but in the moment we just want to unload it all. And we should! But we should unload it onto God’s shoulders first. And I am sure there will be plenty enough thoughts from our chats with God to share with others but instead of just shaking out the junk drawer we are laying on them actual things they can pray about and receive from us. I don’t want us to stop sharing, I just want us to start sharing with God first.

When is the last time we went to God first? After a bad day or break up and just laid it all out for Him? Uncandid, no filter, just feelings puked all over the place? Have we ever done that with God? If not, maybe that’s why our prayer lives are so crusty.

I think sometimes we say the Lord’s prayer because it’s all we feel holds enough reverence. However, Jesus says plain as day- don’t just say stuff. It becomes empty of meaning. (-super paraphrased, go read it actually quoted in the gospel of Matthew. chapter 6, verse 7). The Lord’s prayer is an awesome outline but “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” can sound like, God I am so sorry for treating Heather like crap today. Please forgive me. And God? Shew. Help me forgive Heather for treating me like total crap today, that was just a crap fest.

Or, “Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” can look like us asking for radical things like worldwide peace and hunger to cease and revival to take place and so on and so forth, a total dream fest! Right?

But we don’t rant to God and we don’t dream with God, we are not real with Him because we don’t feel heard. We rant to others because we know we are heard.

Why don’t we feel heard?

I would argue a few things.

1. We don’t do it enough. We say 5 words and are like, well, I did it… We don’t give God the chance to RESPOND by filling us with peace and comfort. We sit in quiet for 2 seconds and highfive ourselves for having “quiet time” OR we actually hangout for a hot second but the entire time our mind is running a trillion miles a minute planning everything we want to get done after we have “put in” that God time that was on the to-do list. OR we SPEND time with God but we never get real with Him! We don’t tell Him what is actually in our hearts and minds- Hey God, I wanted to kill Joe today. Please help me in that relationship God I am just tanking HARD. Or- Hey LORD Savior Almighty, I am struggling with jealousy. I just cannot stop comparing myself to other women. It’s like I have an actual disease. Please help me get out of that Lord God.

But instead it’s crusty and stiff and meaningless. We just say words to say them- oh, I said I would pray for this person so here are 5 words that have no focus or heart behind them. Checked off the to-do list. What’s next? Oh! Laundry! I get to actually get something done.

Prayer is getting something done we just do not give it the credence it deserves… Shesh! I am so hardcore preaching this to myself. You have no idea.

2. We don’t trust God to listen. We think we are small fries compared to what He’s probably dealing with globally. But God wants to hear from us CONTINUALLY (Paul’s 1st letter to the Thessalonians chapter 5, verse 17). That means about the co-worker we are struggling with, about the everyday mundane, moment to moment things! He actually loves us and actually wants to hear about it. If we keep God largely out of the mundane then He will be largely out of our lives because life is largely mundane. It’s getting up every morning and getting to it. If we only ever pray about the big moments and decisions, we make God very distant and do not LIVE continually in His presence.

3. When I asked my hubby why we don’t feel heard he said because- There is nobody physically/audibly talking back to us. “The concept of being alone, but not being alone, is exclusively Christian.” ITS SUCH A COOL CONCEPT but such a difficult one to wrap our heads around. We have to take time and make space for this to take place. We have to have faith and trust in God to believe that He will never leave us, He is always there to be our refuge. (The book of Psalms chapter 61… and the rest of the Bible.)

So sweet reader, I challenge you today to be real with God. To say it all. Lay it out there. With respect for Him, and ENOUGH respect to recognize that He already knows the deepest darkest corners of our hearts. Not talking to Him about them is not going to make them disappear, in fact, talking to Him about them is the only thing that will. He is the light lovely friend, He will light it all up and out of His glory, you will shine.