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5:00am Love

It is currently 5:15 AM on my husband’s day off (aka – a “sleeping in” day).  This is typically the day we let our four-year-old start the day with his favorite cartoons and our almost two-year-old hang out in the crib for a while after she wakes up so we can ease into the day.  This morning there has been no easing.
I hear my daughter talking before 5:00 and turn on the monitor to find her with her pajamas AND diaper off.  The diaper coming off is like a code-red situation in our house.  The mystery of what’s inside determines the severity of the scenario, but flashes of gloves, Lysol, gag-inducing smells, and hours spent laundering every piece of her bedding flash through my groggy head.  After trying to pawn this parenting emergency off on my husband, I feel a wave of compassion for him (good grief, it is his day off!) and I force my warm, sleepy body out of bed.
The air is cold, the hardwood floors feel even colder on my bare feet, and for the first sixty seconds my heart is full of dread, frustration, and resentment.  However, the strangest thing happens after traipsing up the stairs and opening the door to my baby girl’s room.  At the sight of her, my hardened, cold heart melts.  When my feet hit the floor I wanted to yell at someone in frustration, but when I see her sweet little face, I start whispering sweet nothings.  When my REM cycle was interrupted every fiber of my being wanted my husband to get up, but being with her in the darkness and cuddling her in the rocking chair feels precious…even sacred.
5:00 AM love is a special kind of love.  There are plenty of people that would not melt my heart at this ungodly hour.  But when I see and hold my precious baby girl, no hour of the day or night could rob me of the affection I feel for her.  While singing and rocking her warm little body covered in fleece-footed pajamas, I’m struck with the profundity of the moment and the picture this is of the Father’s delight in me.
Our God has summoned us by name and redeemed us; we are His (Is. 43:1).  He rises to show us compassion (Isaiah 30:18). He exults over us with loud singing (Zeph 3:17).  We are the apple of His eye (Ps. 17:8).   He has set his affection upon us (Deut. 7:7).   And, on top of all that, He never slumbers or sleeps (Psalm 121:4).  This kind of love is mind-boggling … which is why I believe He woke me at 5:00 AM … to experience a picture of his affection for me.
It’s now 6:00 AM.  My daughter is sleeping peacefully again in her crib, but my son just woke up.  Heaven help us – Daylight Savings Time hasn’t even ended yet!


Ashlee Johnson

Ashlee is the wife of a pastor, mom of two busy little ones, and a graduate of Gordon-Conwell Seminary. She is passionate about communicating the truths of Scripture to women and magnifying Jesus as the All-Satisfying Treasure and Almighty Redeemer. She has lived in North Carolina for most of her life and loves making the most of the sidewalks and parks in her 1940s neighborhood. Ashlee enjoys healthy eating and exercising, but finds it nearly impossible to resist homemade cookies!

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