Your Love Language is a Crippling Foundation

Love,  “it does not seek it’s own” – 1 Corinthians 13:5

Based on the theory of Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages, there can be great importance of knowing the way you or another person are most apt to receive love. The dangerous approach, however, is if we allow this theory to be a foundation to any form of a relationship. The 5 love languages are as follows: receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch. This theory is a great tool to encourage anyone in the process of building a friendship, marriage, family, or even a business relationship. But none of these languages should ever replace the foundation by which love is built upon.

“The one who does not love does not know God, for God is Love” (1John 4:8). What is love  and what is it built upon? God. God, Himself,  is love and love is built upon Him. Therefore, How did God, being love, exemplify this love for us? “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16). In a world that lived in such opposition and darkness, they gave God far from the honor, respect, gratitude, devotion, and communion He deserves. Yet instead of God rejecting us because we didn’t “speak His love language.” He decided to give up His ONLY SON in order to have friendship with us if we choose to receive Him. “For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him” (John3:17).

The love God exemplified, comes from the heart of His exact nature. By receiving Jesus, we decide to live our lives by His nature. “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). The bible calls Jesus our corner stone (Ephesians 2:20). This means He is the stone in which the foundation of our love and godliness is fitted on or built from. If Jesus had laid down His life while we were sinners, how much more should we offer our lives to those who might not speak our love language? “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you” (Matthew 7:12). If you would have others meet at your level and speak your “love language,” what if our priority was to make that same pursuit toward others? instead of seeking our own gain, what if we considered the interest of others above our own (Philippians 2:4)? After all, Jesus did that for us.

He who has been forgiven much, loves much (Luke 7:47). The love Christ has shown us fulfills every single love language you can ever ask for. He gives you the gift of His righteousness and His Holy Spirit; not to mention, paying off your debt of sin (receiving gifts). He’s everywhere all the time (omnipresent) and promises to never leave you (quality time). He’s commended you as a chosen race, a royal priesthood, and a holy nation; among many other affirmations (words of affirmation). He broke His body and shed His blood for you (acts of service). Lastly, you can’t get more of a physical touch than Him making you the place in which He dwells (physical touch). If we recognize the reality of His love for us and know that it is truly real, the necessity for others to meet our personal love language becomes obsolete. For it is His love that compels us to love more (1John 4:19).