No More Narratives

One of the things I have been learning this year is that I have a very destructive habit. I have had a lot of these in the past and my very kind, loving and patient Father has weeded many of them out. Currently the one that is being weeded is my tendency to put a narrative to everything. Also known as – attempting to put words in the mouth of the Almighty God. Esh. Yeah, I don’t wanna be doing that. I doubt you do either. So, let me highlight my mistake so maybe you can avoid doing the same or if you are already in the weeds, maybe you can till up the ground of your heart’s garden with me today (sorry, can’t help the cheesy analogies).

A good example of this habit is when something would happen, I would try to explain, from God’s perspective, why it happened. Sounds crazy, right? Well let’s look at it in a real-life situation and then you may be able to relate.

When John and I moved from VA to TN he got a new job. One, he soon found, was not aligned with what he felt called to do with his life. It was a 6-month position. He also created a podcast that he hosts with 2 of his friends, you may know of it, “Bite Size Theology”. Well, I reassured him that surely God had given him a 6-month position because in 6 months the podcast was going to become his full-time job or he was going to fall into the lap of his dream job and everything was going to work out, Hallmark movie style.

Well, 6 months came and went and no full-time podcast position arose, no dream job scenario. I felt let down by God. I looked up at my Dad and said, “Well?? What the heck! You let us down! You didn’t come through!”

Had God let me down? Had He not come through?

No. My vision, my plan, my day dream, had not come to fruition.

Did He ever tell me, “Hey Lydia, in 6 months x, y, and z are going to take place?” Nope. I put those words in His mouth and then got upset when He didn’t agree to speak them like a puppet.

Is God a puppet? Umm… no. He is the Almighty, Creator of the Universe. He knit every proton and neutron together, every star He named (The book of Isaiah, chapter 40, verse 26), every ocean He told where to come to (The prophet Jeremiah, chapter 5, verse 22). And also, every promise God has made, He has kept (the book of Joshua, chapter 23, verse 14). Everything He has said, it is true.

So, He may not have said that my husband would have his dream job in 6 months but He DID say He would love us forever, that we shouldn’t worry about what we will eat, drink or wear because He would provide those things (The gospel of Matthew, chapter 6, verses 25 – 34). He did say His Son died and set us free from sin and shame.

But darn it if He didn’t make all my dreams come true. Dagnabbit if I am not prosperous in all of the ways I want to be. Don’t you know that life is all about me, my, I, I, I??? Shouldn’t I be the main character of a story written which tells of an incredible, deep, wide, high, beautiful love that is eternal and of someone who came and died the most brutal death to allow that love to reach me? Make it accessible to me??

No. That story cannot be about me, or you sweet reader. It must be about THE ONE who came and died and rose from the dead.

Also, I have to note, God may not have given us our “dream jobs” but He did provide for us in every circumstance, heal our bodies, grow us in huge ways, carry us along when we had no strength of our own and our legs were knocked out from under us. He did draw us deeper, hold us tightly, show us compassion, grace and mercy. And still I find a way to complain.

My point though is, maybe a lot of times we get angry with God because He is not fitting in with the narrative we wrote.

“but God! I wanted my life to be x, y, z! Why is it q, r, g??”

How about because He not only created the universe we live in, the air we breathe, but He also created us. As individuals. He knit US together in our mama’s wombs and set out our steps from day one to the end (the book of Psalms, chapter 139, verses 13 – 16). His perspective is never ending, AKA: giganto. Our perspective is pea-sized, AKA: puny

The response this should stir up in us is humility, like most things dealing with God, our Creator. If we truly look at Him with naked eyes and no additives, falling on our faces is just about all there is to do.

So, what I want from me is no more narratives. No more fabricating stories that I try to get God to tell.

What I want from me is to listen for Him, ask Him my questions, sit still with Him, and trust that whatever narrative comes next, it is a part of the one He has been writing since the beginning of time.