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Loving Her Too: Mother’s Day for Bio Moms

Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that I always took advantage of. My mom? She’s the bomb. She sacrifices, loves, and laughs with a depth I admire, but we just never really celebrated Mother’s Day too much. I’d like to think it’s because we celebrate her all the time, but my family just simply isn’t the best holiday-celebrators. All that to say, this Mother’s Day snuck up on me.

But there’s a really special woman who birthed a really special boy, and I want to make her feel worth a Mother’s Day.

I scoured the aisles of Target and Kroger and Walmart, and I’m at a total loss because God forbid a card maker recognizes that there are weird families that are experiencing a lot of pain this Mother’s Day. What about moms who have lost a child this year? And moms who have kids that are with their ex-husbands for the first year ever? And moms who have kids who don’t recognize how great they are?

And biological moms who are about to experience one of the toughest days of their lives, as their children are living with another family? It’s a day devoted to a child showering their beloved mother with gifts and love and affection, and—whether they deserve it or not—bio moms are going to be alone and longing for their babies.

I love Little B’s biological mom with a love that I don’t understand. The only explanation of why I break for her and hurt for her and long for her redemption is my knowledge of a hope beyond this world. Her story is sad, but her love for this little guy…oh her love. She would move mountains if she could.

Though May 8 is my first Mother’s Day, it’s her second without her baby boy, and I swear I’m going to do anything and everything in my power for her to feel celebrated.

Are you a foster or adoptive mom and at a total loss for how to love your kiddo’s biological mom for Mother’s Day? Here are the best gift ideas I can find.

PS My love language is gifts. My bank account doesn’t support my love language. So this list hopefully has a full range of gift options for all budgets. (Truly, I think it’s important to be careful with how much you spend–it’s a fine line between gifting in love and gifting in excess.)

PPS Make sure your child is comfortable with some of these gifts. For example, if you’ve got an older foster child, and they have harsh feelings toward their biological families, use discretion about a craft that exclaims “I love you this much.”

PPPS I have a good relationship with B’s bio mom, but I know that’s not always the case in foster care. So, see these gift ideas with that in mind–I genuinely don’t think she’d be offended by receiving any of these. Some may, though. This is targeted much more toward foster families than adoptive families, but there are some unique open adoptions in which these would make sense. 

Holly Paulette

Holly is in love with good words and wants to share them with the world. She is the wife of a farmer, a diehard Hokie, self-proclaimed indoorsy type, and will never turn down a chocolate chip cookie. She's learning to find herself at the feet of the King of the Universe, who, for some crazy reason, knows her name.

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