Finding Joy and Perspective Through Unexpected Surgery

What’s good y’all!?!? I hope a WHOLE lot! I hope this finds you doing so SUPER-DUPER well!

I wanted to give y’all a quick update on my soccer “stuff”.

I struggled this past year with some injuries that no one could really figure out. It was frustrating for sure. I’ve met with lots of doctors, had several sets of MRI’s and X-RAYS, and done countless hours of Physical Therapy. Every effort was with the ultimate hope of recovering and returning to the field. Now, praise God, some incredible doctors have diagnosed the problem and I’m on my way to getting healthy. Without getting into all the details, surgery is required and that will keep me off the field for 2016. BIG BUMMER! That’s hard to type, let alone wrap my head around.

It’s been hard.

I’ve had some “down” days recently coming to the realization that I won’t be playing this year. Only God knows if I’ve played my last professional game. My hope is that I can recover. I pray that if it’s in God’s plan and will for my life I will play again next year. We shall see.

I had surgery last Monday on the 22^nd. It went so smooth (thank You Jesus!) And slowly but surely I’m recovering.

But I tell you what, God sure is teaching me a bucket load of things. Like…

• It’s easy to talk about faith. It’s easy to tell others to have faith. “Hey bro, just have faith.” I genuinely try to encourage others like that. But it’s a whole different ballgame when you have to exercise it. Like most things in life, it’s easier said than done. I’m human, so I’m super weak and there’s a big part of me that’s scared (to def) about the days ahead. I’d be a liar if I said otherwise. But now I get to exercise my faith. YIPPY SKIPPY! I’m being facetious, but I know that in the long run it will be good and it will draw me closer to Jesus. My ultimate aim in life. So here’s where I try to practice what I preach. I say God is good, but do I mean it when something bad comes my way? How good is He? Is He good all the time? Or just when life’s easy breezy?

• It’s all about perspective. Since surgery I’ve literally been helpless. I haven’t been able to do much on my own. As a matter of fact, my mama has “moved in” with us for a couple weeks to help with my recovery, Declan and to just do what good mama’s do; make everything better. (You da best Mama). I’ve had to depend on others for everything. Getting out of bed, putting my draws (aka undies) and socks on, using the bathroom. I haven’t even been able to pick Declan up. It’s been hard and humbling. But God’s truly using my surgery and inability to do much to change my heart. I have friends with cerebral palsy who are wheelchair bound. I have friends who have spent years in chronic illness and debilitating pain. I’m sure you know someone like this. It’s hard to fathom. My recovery time is 4-6 months. Sounds long, doesn’t it? But is it really? HECK NO IT’S NOT. I’ve taken my health and well-being for granted for too long. It’s exactly like that old saying. You never know what you really have until you lose it.  It could always be worse.

• Family is what’s important. I have such a supportive family. And I’m not just talking blood. So many have supported and rallied around me during this recovery time. Even before. All of last year. Well really, now that I think about it, my whole life. Recently people have provided meals, sacrificed their time to help with Declan, and served my family and me in every way possible. My surgery date was actually the day the RailHawks started preseason. So as the guys were waking up and gearing up to fight for a job they loved, I was knocked out and under the knife. (Key Alanis Morsette signing “Isn’t It Ironic.”) Yeah it sucked. Of course I wanted to be joining my teammates. But I wouldn’t trade the time I’ve had with my family for anything. I’ve had some sweet, sweet time with them. I’ve been able to lay in bed with Declan and read to him the same book over and over again. Come on, you can’t beat that. I’ve been able to visit my sista and her family in Atlanta. I haven’t been able to make a trip to visit my sister in a decade because of soccer. I wouldn’t trade any of it it for a chance at pre-season with Barcelona. You think I’m kiddin’? I ain’t. At the end of the day it’s about relationships. They are what make life worthwhile. Oh yea...my wife…she’s a rockstar! (Had to give my darlin’ a shoutout.)

• God’s in control. Don’t like that. Well too bad, we got no choice in it. God is God and He always does His will. He’s in control, not you or me. He can see the big picture. And it’s a darn good thing He loves us so much that He sent His one and only Son Jesus to die for us so that we could have everlasting life with Him (John 3:16). How freaking awesome is that? He’s in control and He’s got a plan that is much greater than my puny little plan (Ephesians 3:20). Even if that means sitting out a year or possibly even retiring. I know I must trust God. Really, what other choice do I have?

I’ll be around though. Raleigh that is. And who knows how this will all play out. Maybe it’s just so that I can get healthy and come back better than ever in 2017? WE SHALL SEE! In the meantime, I’m so thankful for the joy and peace that Jesus has given me through this season.

I know one thing’s for sure. To quote my cousin Josh,”I might not have a job, but I have something that money can’t buy that people dream of: an incredible wife, who’s my best friend and soulmate, a supportive mom and dad, and a great looking son who’s a stud!” (Couldn’t have said it better myself cuz, thank you!)