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Dating is not Marriage (Part One)

“…I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” – The Song of Solomon 8:4

To marry someone, is to become one flesh with them. To DATE someone has ZERO equivalence with marriage. If we continue in today’s act of “dating” while applying the same romantic practices, both physically and emotionally, which are meant only for the covenant of marriage, we then arouse and awaken love before it’s ready – thus making a “break up” equivalent to divorce. How ever this culture of dating was made, whether through Hollywood or social media, it continues to run it’s course against the manner worthy of the Gospel of Christ.

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters…will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1Corinthians 6:9-10). Fornication by definition is the act of unauthorized sexual intercourse. Therefore, sexual intercourse outside the grounds of marriage is fornication and according to the word of God, those who practice it will not inherit the kingdom of God. Of course, this distinction displays the heart of God as it is the encouragement to all purity and innocence.

Lets go a step further when Jesus says, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). Adultery is fornication (unauthorized sexual intercourse). As God is a god who cares for our hearts, He says that even looking upon a person with sexual motivation outside the grounds of marriage is considered fornication. Through which, such practices will not inherit the kingdom of God. If the majority of Christians actually practiced this teaching today, not only would it look vastly different in the culture of Christian dating, but it would also reflect the pure morality of God’s kingdom.

Although this is the truth that speaks to the physical aspect of dating, there is also an emotional aspect as well. In Exodus 20:17, God speaks against the practice of coveting; stating that we should not covet our neighbor’s house, wife, or anything that belongs to our neighbor. To covet is to desire something that does not belong to you. Therefore, in the culture of dating, the emotional act of viewing a potential other as your spouse while they do not belong to you would be coveting. Hence the heavy burden of bitterness that follows many “breakups” today. Instead, when a single Christian acknowledges that they’re bodies and spirits belong only to the Lord and no one else, they bind no one into a covenant that does not yet exist. Thereby, saving themselves from unnecessary pain of an emotional soul-tie, let alone sinning against God.

What then is the definition of dating? Dating has one simple meaning, Friendship; no more, no less. Might you still have feelings for one another? Of course. All the feelings may say is, “I see the potential OF marriage with this person.” Even if a couple is engaged to be married, the truth remains standing, they are not husband and wife. Therefore, we honor each other’s bodies and spirits by not treating each other as such. Far be it from us to pervert the covenant of marriage and sin against our bodies and against God.


To be continued with my personal experience on dating…

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Taber Cheo

Taber is a missionary for Jesus Worldwide, a GM for Hidden House Coffee Roasters, a graduated with a communication studies Bachelor's at Evangel University, and loves to read and write about all things pertaining to truth and is a sucker for Pixar and Marvel films.

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