Please Accept My Apology

There are approximately 7.4 BILLION people in the world. Originating from different cultures, nationalities, backgrounds, experiences, they all contain unique DNA. I just don’t understand why they all don’t view life like I do.

That was my arrogant stance when I knew it all in my younger days. Why anyone wouldn’t “get” my new Christian experience bewildered my baby-Christian brain. After all, I had God tied up in a little neat box, Romans road ready, and I could take Him wherever I wanted Him to go, to whomever I wanted Him to meet…by my standards. I became increasingly impatient with those who came at me, both barrels looking into my new-found philosophy, bent on blowing it out of the water. I hollered, reasoned, paced, read (read, read, read, read….), studied, investigated, and PROVED my points without a shadow of a doubt! I was RIGHT, and “they” were wrong! Being named “passionate” about my Jesus was an understatement. I loved Him. I loved Him. But my delivery had much to be desired.

My unconditional love for others was absent.

Micromanaging others’ spirituality creates rifts in relationships. It’s that simple. Early on I was taught to “evangelize, evangelize, evangelize”. Yet, somehow I missed the Corinthians love thing…you know, the ear piercing sound of a gong we are to avoid?? Creating personal relationships seems clearly to be what Jesus exemplified and as New Testament doctrine teaches, we are to “give an answer to everyone who asks you the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”  1 Peter 3:15. How in the world did I miss that? My fervor replaced my friendships. But on I marched, the good soldier for Christ that I intended to be.

Thankfully, God Himself put a halt to my policing. Tenderly, He drew me to His heart so that I could see my heart, so I could reach others’ hearts. He revealed my own deep insecurities that led to my insensitivities so that love would be the motivation for all that I do and all that I say. He draws those who are seeking His love with or without my “help”.

So, personally, I want to apologize for my arrogance. Honestly, I see no scripture “proof texts” leading me to this. Maybe it’s just I understand now, more than ever, what Christ actually did, said, and taught. Previously, I had learned somewhat of a caricature of the real Person but in my more mature years, God is teaching me directly. And I like what He’s revealing. My ego needed me to be flawless in doctrine, but my true self (my soul) needed honesty. And in that honest assessment I admit I don’t have all the answers (how freeing is THAT?!) So, I’m sorry for fooling myself into believing that I did. Come on, admit it, most Christians don’t agree on everything! All I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that God loves us, He died and rose from the grave for us to prove that love, and we are to love others with the power of His Spirit living in us. Beyond that, I desire not to argue (“Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen.” 2 Tim. 2:14)

My hunch is those who need to read this, won’t. Why? Because it’s on a Christian blog site. And some have been wounded by truthful words, void of love. But if you do happen to read this, and I was one of your “projects”, I profusely lament. My intention was to introduce you to my Love but I fear you only perceived my law.

Human population is climbing even as we speak…one more person to walk life’s journey. I pray that soul will stumble across the unconditional, unfathomable, unending love of God through another’s healing heart, faltering along an intersecting path. It’s the only way to bridge the divide and heal the rifts. Even if we never concur.