Jesus Loves You Just As You Are

There seems to be a disconnect between what I believe and my life. I believe that I am a sinner in need of God’s grace and that Jesus is that grace, but my life doesn’t seem to reflect that belief very much. I know that my life will never perfectly look like Jesus’; however, I think it should look a lot more like it. Why for example is my first reaction to people that claim that they are “on fire” for Jesus genuine skepticism? Or when someone always seems to be talking about Jesus to the point of obsession I want to get them to cuss or something? I am messed up, but I don’t want to be. What’s up with this disconnect between the head and the heart?

I believe that God created everything. I think most Christians would agree with this claim. Therefore, because I believe that God created everything, he created me, Houston Clark, in the flesh. He created the bricks that built my high school, the wooden fan that probably cost a small fortune spinning clockwise 10 yards from where I am sitting now. Do you still believe that? He created Donald J. Trump, he created your ex-whomever, that math test you bombed freshman year, the relationship with your best friend. Everything. That’s what creators do, they create. The point that I am trying to make is this: God is over all, even and especially you. He is over the doubts I have. My issue then is that realizing this to the point of knowing it does not do much for the doubts themselves. I think that is ok.

One of my good friends onetime said, “I like living uncomfortably.” Of course, for a situation to be deemed “uncomfortable,” the sheer nature of the situation is one that you probably do not like very much. My understanding of what he meant was that he liked growing and he realized that a lot of growth comes from being uncomfortable. I think the truth of the gospel in its various forms in my life right now (preaching of the word 2x a week at RUF Large Group, Church, and reading Christian books) is showing me that Jesus loves me, not the nearly-perfect McCallie grad, super-active Church member, incredibly-loving husband and friend, etc. He loves me in my doubts as I am.

There is nothing new here, except for the fact that if we know Jesus, the Kingdom of Light that he ushers us into has far-as-the-curse-is-found implications. I’m learning more and more about the freedom to be who we are at the feet of Jesus, the power that moving towards people I never thought I would hang out with possess, and the true hope we have in Christ. Man, turn to God and his word with who you are. You never know, you might just return a different person (said sarcastically because God has actually promised this in his word, see Isaiah 55:11).