Growing Your Marriage

The last blog I wrote was a marriage rant. I do love to have a good rant about marriage because it’s something I am passionate about. However, I want to do more than just rant about it, I want to give sound advice with applicable solutions.

One thing that I have heard about marriage is people “growing apart”. And I want to talk about that.

If you are a new creation in Jesus, you are going to grow more like Christ throughout the years and hopefully the weeks and months too. If you are dead in sin and shame you will grow more and more decayed as time goes on. Either way, in 5 years you will look different than you do right now, either more renewed and transformed or more rotted.

My husband and I are different people then we were when we met, and it’s wonderful. We have both grown and have fallen more in love with God and His word. We treat each other better now and love each other more than we did even a year ago. We look at each other and say, “You are not the same person I married, and it’s wonderful.” But a lot of times in marriages what is said is, “You are not the same person I married, and I’m leaving.” But if either one was that same person, that would have meant neither has grown for 3, 5, 10, 20, 50 years. That’s not possible. Or if it is, that is the most stagnant water (and the Living Water (Jesus Christ) is not stagnant). Living in sin and death is possibly more so on the stagnant side, a slow decline, the person doesn’t change for the better, but the worse.

See, I know, I have been dead. We all have, or are, currently. I have been blind and lame and… dead. But now, I walk and see and am alive. I lived 18 years of my life trying so hard to become alive, to change myself, to no avail. I was at the end of my rope making the worst decisions of my life when Jesus called to me. When He told me I could not achieve righteousness, life or goodness on my own and that He was the Way, Truth, and Life. When I surrendered my life to Him, I began growing towards the sun instead of decaying further into the mud.

In marriage, with my best friend, we push each other towards the Son constantly. When the other won’t go we get in front and pull them. We strive to be better today than we were yesterday, and therefore, are no longer the same people as we were when we married each other.

So a couple things for growth in marriage:

1. Grow towards the Son. Turn your face towards the Son of God, the only source of light, and grow.

2. Grow together. Tell each other where you want to grow and offer insight into the others growth, try to stay in synch. If one gets ahead, pull the other along. Keep each other in the loop.

3. Encourage each other to grow. Make sure each of you is getting the Living Water, time in the Son, and the soil of your heart and their heart is tilled and not matted down and stale. Point out how the other has grown, tell them, tell others, and focus on the renewedness.

4. Growing is not bad. It should be encouraged. If you are married to the exact same person you married, that shouldn’t be celebrated. They should look different, you should look different. Stronger. Healthier. More Joyous. Peaceful. Kind. Loving. Patient. Good. Faithful. Gentle. Disciplined.

Go forth, and GROW. If you need to know more about how to do so, please reach out to me. I can point you in the right direction.