It’s Been A Tough Year. And I’m Okay With That!

It’s been a tough year!

Do I keep saying that? Well, it has. I’ve felt lost. Confused. Even found myself on the side of the road unable to drive because of anxiety. (I’ll save that for another time). I’ve shed lots of tears, blown up in anger more than normal and felt apathetic to the struggles of others.

I’m totally a cup half full type of guy. I really hate complaining and try not to do it. I stuff things down until they unfortunately come boiling over. I don’t like people knowing that I’m down. I put on my smile and when asked how I am, respond with the standard doing great or too blessed to be stressed. Which is a total crock of poo-poo.

I know that in the grand scheme of things, I live like a king.

I know that the struggles I’m facing and going through pale in comparison to what millions around the world face. Reminding myself of that usually brings perspective. But sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve been lazy in my spiritual life. The time I’ve spent with Jesus has been pathetic to say the least. I know it’s never been and never will be about works or doing, but it’s vital for Christians to stay connected to the vine. Jesus that is!

I’ve struggled bigtime with identity issues, which I’ve shared about. I’ve felt worthless and dumb. At times, negativity has spread like a nasty virus, destroying my peace and perspective. But I’ve come to discover another terrible  disease that’s infiltrated my mind and heart. BITTERNESS.

Is it okay to feel down and frustrated and lost?

You dawgon betchya it is. Even if I’m a Christian though? Absolutely. Being a Christian doesn’t make you immune from struggles, feelings or even downright depression and desperation. God doesn’t promise that life will be easy. He actually promises that it will be hard. But he promises that He will be with us through it all. And that yall, is all I have for today!

Aren’t you glad that He’s in control?

I sure am. My life would be wrecked if I was.