The New York Times recently published a thoughtful article on the decline of male friendship. Studies show that men today have fewer close friends than in generations past, and more men say they have none at all. That reality is heartbreaking, but it also gives the church an opportunity. Scripture teaches us that we were not made to live life alone. Friendship is not just optional. It is a gift from God, designed for our health, belonging, and resilience.
Here are three reasons why male friendships are so important, and how Jesus calls us into them.
Friendship Strengthens Our Souls
Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” God has built us in such a way that we are formed through relationships. When men walk together in honesty and love, they strengthen one another’s faith and character. In a world where many men silently carry burdens of stress, shame, or loneliness, friendships can be the place where we remind each other of the gospel. Jesus has carried our sin and shame to the cross. A friend who points you back to Christ is a lifeline for your soul.
Friendship Gives Belonging and Identity
Jesus said to His disciples in John 15:15, “I no longer call you servants… Instead, I have called you friends.” Think about that. Our Lord calls us His friends. If the Son of God chose to define His relationship to us through friendship, then male friendship is not just cultural. It is Christlike.
Friendships provide a unique sense of belonging. Husbands, fathers, and workers all carry responsibilities, but friendship offers mutuality. I know you, you know me, and we value each other apart from our titles or accomplishments. When men share life together through laughter, prayer, or walking through suffering, they reflect the belonging we have in Jesus, the Friend who never leaves us.
Friendship Carries Us Through Transitions
Life is full of change. Marriage, children, career shifts, aging parents, and health challenges all bring seasons of transition. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 reminds us, “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up” Transitions can feel destabilizing, but faithful friends are like anchors. They remind us who we are and point us to who God is.
When men withdraw into isolation during hard seasons, they often struggle to find hope. But friends who pray with us, listen to us, and walk beside us make us resilient. They do not replace Jesus, but they point us back to Him, the Friend who is faithful in every season.
The Call to Brotherhood
The decline of male friendship in our culture is real, but Jesus calls His people to live differently. What if the church became known as the place where men build real Christ centered friendships? What if every man had brothers to sharpen him, to walk with him, and to remind him of the hope of the gospel?
